Sleepless Nights by: K.R. Pinkston

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

“You know, maybe we should start a sort of sleepless military mothers club,” Laurie said. Michelle and I laughed, even though there is nothing funny about waking up every night and not being able to go back to sleep.

The conversation among the three of us turned more serious as we discovered that each of us had different reasons for being up at night. Laurie explained that she got into the habit of checking her email in the middle of the night, just to make sure she did not have an urgent message from her deployed husband. Michelle, on the other hand, said that her toddler still wakes her up during the night. Once she is awake she cannot go back to sleep because she is thinking about their upcoming move to another duty station and all the things that need to be done.

My problem is that nobody seems to sleep through the night at our home – at least not on a regular basis. One night it is my husband’s phone ringing at two in the morning, another night it is our kitty meowing because he is lonely. If it is not our son turning on lights because of a nightmare, we can hear the neighbors’ kids crying. Then there are horses right behind our backyard making a racket, or it is people who are using part of the horse stables as an all-night party hub.

Just like Michelle, once I am awake I am unable to go back to sleep. My mind starts to race until it is time to get up. But is that all? After some soul-searching I uncovered the real culprit that is robbing my night’s sleep: it is fear. It is not a life-threatening fear, one that makes you turn around and run in the opposite direction, but it is a surreptitious fear, one that penetrates your mind like a thief coming under the cover of darkness. This fear is multifaceted and takes on different shapes depending on what is going on in my daily life.

At the top of my fear list is homeschooling. As a newcomer to homeschooling I am still very sensitive to people’s negative remarks about teaching a child at home. Since we are stationed in Germany – a country where homeschooling is illegal – we are staying in the house until local schools are out at noon to avoid questions and comments from well-meaning locals. Still, my friend’s concern whether I am really doing my child a favor by teaching him myself struck a sensitive chord.

After that, my list of fear includes worries about my elderly parents and their poor health as well as my friend who is battling breast cancer. Also, our two cats are old and suffer from chronic renal failure. Of course, fear does not stop there. Deployment of my friends’ and my husband is ever present in our lives and brings with it another set of anxieties.

Oddly enough, it is during those nights when I cannot sleep that I pray the most. When the world seems to close in to overwhelm my thoughts with failure and fear, the knowledge that God walks our paths with each and every one of us is very comforting. Even though our lives are surrounded by uncertainty He is there to guide us.

Lately I have tried to push away my worries with focusing on the love that God lets me experience every day. This exercise of the mind is hard in the middle of the night. Every time I fall into the hole of fear, I climb up by cherishing the time I can teach our child, by remembering the laughter and joy I have with my parents and friends, and by knowing that His love surrounds us.

Perhaps this exercise will never get me to sleep through the night. Still, I feel more peaceful during the day, knowing that I did not waste those sleepless hours by chewing over problems. Who knows? Maybe this is His way of getting me to pray.

My Prayer Life

I love the challenge in today's Girlfriend Devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries, Lysa TerKeurst, particularly the quotes from Nancy Guthrie from an article she wrote in Today's Christian Woman.

Because I'm a writer by nature--always have been (couldn't tell, could you?)--I express my prayers through a prayer journal. It started out as a diary when I was in high school. I have notebooks and duotangs and journals filled with my hearts desires, requests and thank yous, and conversations with God. But it's only really in the last year or so that my prayer journal has become more than a diary. It still is. I still talk to God about the ordinary things that happen. But, it's more than just getting these issues off my chest and into the hands of God. I now know and consciously use the time to listen to Him, to spend the last few moments of my day in His presence. I use that time to not only minister to my worried, tired brain, but to my heart and spirit.

This has been compounded by my starting to read the Bible every night. I want to know what the Word says. I want to get to know God's heart better. To help with this, I keep another journal to help me keep track of what I've read, for one, and to help me remember what I've read for another. Surprisingly, I've never been very good for memorizing Scripture. I can remember the gist. I can recite many verses once someone else starts them. But I haven't been able to say Psalm 91:1 says....

I knew I needed something more direct to help me study Scripture and not just read it, and also to apply what I read to my life. So, in my little note book, I summarize the passage in my own words and then jot down how that passage can be applied to my life. I've learned that some passages leave me stumped in that regard. It's not always readily apparent how some verses apply. I'm currently reading through the Psalms. Most of the Psalms have praises or a combination of laments and praises. But I've found there are some Psalms with no praise, which in my mind shows me that despite of the suffering of the Psalmist, the praise is the lesson that he has learned through the suffering. That's not always there. Perhaps the next time I read through the Psalms the meaning will become more clear.

I also jot down a verse or two (if there are any) that really strike me.

I have noticed in doing this that I am closer to God. I'm learning to be the "quiet, gentle" wife the Bible instructs me to be. I'm learning other things that can be applied to my life. I have learned what it is to finally understand that everything we have is from God. I'm still learning about truly loving Him. (I wrote about that a while ago.)

You may not be a writer, but I still believe a journal of some sort--whether it's for tracking your progress through the Bible and what you've learned from your readings, or whether it's to jot down answers to prayer--is important. I know I wouldn't want to rely on my memory for some things.

Anyway...I hope you take today's Girlfriend Devotional as a challenge to get beyond the asking God for stuff, and use the time to spend it in His presence. I've also learned that the more I spend time in God's presence, the more I want to spend time in His presence. I don't want to miss it.

Remember prayer and getting to know God and getting "something" out of church isn't about you. It's about God. When we give God the praise He's due and give him the glory for what has happened in our lives, whatever that may be, as long as you do those things with your whole heart with the desire to praise him in the midst of your circumstances, you will always get something out the service...a closer relationship with God.

Praying for our Children

This is a great post by a friend of a friend. I've often felt a little guilty that I wasn't a spiritually focused with Chris as I am with Brent. Brent gets a prayer every night before bed (last night he sounded like he was saying it with me). With Chris, I didn't do a prayer. Although I know he believes now and try to reinforce a Christ-like reaction to the things that happen throughout the day, I know there are things he doesn't tell me.

I don't suppose it's ever too late to begin praying for or with your child(ren). What a great challenge.

Darlene


(Marybeth Whalen) I met Christy Baca on a retreat I led in TX. Christy ended up coming to She Speaks and was in my critique group. I asked Christy to contribute a guest post today that I think will speak to those of you who have kids in school. She has sent out several emails to her friends with specific scriptures she was praying for her children that week, encouraging us to pray scripture over our children as well. I recently asked her to write about her adventure in praying for her children as they are in school because her emails have helped me as we have transitioned to school with ours... and I thought that it might help some of you as well!

Christy:

Psalm 5:1-3
Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Praying for our children. It is essential in raising them to have a faith that is unwavering, and to have a foundation in that faith to stand the test of life. If you have kids in school then school becomes their life. School is their world.

I remember taking my oldest to Kindergarten 7 years ago. I walked her in, sat down at her colored table and got her settled into her new Kindergarten world. I left her there in the hands of her teacher and the administration of that building. Trusting that she was in good hands and that she would make good choices. As my younger daughter and I drove out of the parking lot that morning she said to me, "Well it looks like it's just you and me now huh mom?" With a HUGE smile on her face (quality time is one of her LOVE languages)

"Yes I guess it is Morgan," I replied...I had to hide the tears. Even writing this I cry as I recall that memory. Although it was just me and Morgan, physically, the Lord was with us and the Lord was with McKenzie. He was the only one I could call out to protect her and watch her when I couldn't.

Prayer is the source of comfort I find when I send my girls to school each year. I truly believe that out of the prayers that were prayed over McKenzie that year she came to know her Saviour; she was baptized the following spring on Easter Sunday. What a blessing and what a joy to see that kind of growth come in such a short time. Since her walk with Christ began she has been through some tests, but the Lord continues to be her turning place.

Morgan, our youngest, began Kindergarten three years after her sister. When I left her I drove away alone. It was me and my Lord. He was all I had. That was a defining moment for me as a mom and as a daughter of our Father. Prayer is all I had to be connected with my girls during the day. As the days went by and struggles became apparent I found myself looking to the Word for strength to give to them.

Each of our girls have experienced their own struggles as they are at school. Our oldest has struggled w/missing school due to health issues and still keep her head above water to maintain good grades; then in middle school she went through the typical mean girl stuff you hear and read about and has learned about grace and mercy and forgiveness. Our youngest has learned that the Lord is faithful even in changes that life brings us that we can't control. She was moved from her school last year to a new school. The first three weeks were extremely difficult for both of us. However, the Lord was faithful to show Himself to her. She was voted as Student Council representative of her class and immediately that became a place for her to find belonging. In the hard time of that transition I reminded her daily that even though I am not there and even though her best friends from her old school aren't there Jesus is there and He wants her to tell Him when she is sad or scared or lonely. This year she began her last year at her school with confidence.

The following are prayers that I pray for our girls as they are in school and then some that I pray when things come up:

The first 12 are taken from a bible study written by Denise Glenn - Freedom for Mothers
When I pray these I put their names in places that personalize the scripture:

That they will know Christ as Saviour early in life. (Psalm 63:2; 2 Timothy 3:15)

That they will have a hatred for sin. (Psalm 97:10)

That they will be caught when guilty (Psalm 119:71)

That they will be protected from the evil one in each area of their lives: spiritual, emotional, and physical (John 17:15)

That they will have a responsible attitude in all their interpersonal relationships (Daniel 6:3)

That they will respect authority over them. (Romans 13:1)

That they will desire the right kind of friends and be protected from the wrong friends. (Proverbs 1:10-11)

That they will be protected from the wrong mate and saved for the right one. (2 Corinthians 6:14-17)

That they as well as their future mate will be kept pure until marriage. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

That they will learn to totally submit to God and actively resist satan in all circumstances. (James 4:7)

That they will be single-hearted, willing to be sold out to Jesus Christ. (Romans 12:1-2)

That they will be hedged in so they cannot find their way to wrong people or places and that wrong people cannot find their way to them. (Hosea 2:6)

I have also ALWAYS prayed Psalm 91 over our girls. It is a Psalm of protection.

Psalm 61:1-5 is one I prayed when I was in Romania in 2007 and is excellent for praying for our children when they are away from us.

Psalm 59:1-2 is one I prayed for McKenzie often last year as she went through MEAN GIRL junk. Psalm 56 goes in the MEAN GIRLS category as well.

I Peter 5:7 For anxious children or moms

Deutoronomy 33:29 when either of them are fearful of something

I have learned that it is effective to pray for them while they are away to give me comfort, but in order for them to hear and believe the words the Lord has given us as parents it is more effective to pray over them out loud. I have become more intentional to pray specific prayers for them and with them out loud.

The Lord has been faithful to us in so many ways and a lot of them are linked to our children and their struggles. Our job as parents is to be faithful to pray for and with them. The Lord wants to show us His power and what better way to show us than through His faithfulness in our prayers.

Marybeth: Thanks Christy for writing this great post! Was it helpful to you? I have been very convicted to pray for my kids throughout the day and these scriptures are a great guide for how I can do that!

Marital Stresses

I like today's girlfriend devotional.

It took me a while to decide which devotional to post, this morning.

I'd been having many stresses in the last few days--my 12-year-old is a bear to get out of bed in the morning; I found out that I couldn't send messages through my yahoo account--still trying to get that fixed, thank goodness I have the back up of Google; I'm PMSing; Brent keeps wanting me up at 6...when my body wants an extra 30 minutes; my to-do list is really tight on deadlines at the moment......

But some of my stress has also been with my husband. I follow a blog (you will see the link in my blog list) called Married Single Mothers. My husband works shift work. Those days he works, I'm all by myself. Fortunately, as much as I fight with my 12-year-old to get him out of the house in the morning, he is very helpful around the house (hence my posting about washing dishes). We are very self-sufficient.

But, when my husband is home I'm already in a rhythm of my own and, because of his impeccable timing gene (which my 6-month-old seems to have inherited), my husband lands smack dab in the middle and is on his own schedule. I almost feel like he's being left behind in that respect. He sees how we get along when he's not there and that the world keeps going on. I love that he works so hard for us and is taking on extra shifts to help pay off the car we just bought, but I also wonder if in some ways he feels left out. Hmmmm.

Anyway, there are issues like this that stress our marriages and relationships as well. Stress doesn't necessarily have to come in the form of a jam packed schedule. It can come from our own priorities...and just from the natural ebb and flow of life.

If you haven't done it, yet, I would highly recommend taking the Love and Respect marriage conference, and seeing the movie Fireproof. Don't look at it as a lesson for your husbands, see it as a lesson for yourself.

And, in the midst of all this, don't forget to pray and read the Bible and seek God's wisdom and guidance in all these things.

"The Hiding Place"

I love today's Scripture reading: Psalm 32:7 - For you are my hiding place....

A little over a year ago, five friends decided to start a chat group. We wanted that group to a group of prayer, encouragement and friendship. We wanted a place where we could vent and not be judged. A place where we could come with our prayers and praises and be met with acceptance and compassion.

We chose the name "the hiding place".

I'm very pleased to say that these ladies are my best friends. Even though we have never physically met. They were the inspiration behind my starting the girlfriendnetwork blog and network.

Glad to have you all here.

Parenting with Prayer by: Kimberley Payne

Parenting With Prayer

Awhile back, I prayed to be a better parent and felt as if I was failing miserably. I had limited energy and could take only so much back talk and negative attitude. The kids were filled with a spirit of rebellion and anger. I put myself to bed before the kids one night because of my frustration with the situation. I was not enjoying my children. My frustration rose as I tried to deal with them in my own strength and not rely on God’s strength.

I lived like that for two whole weeks. First, I prayed to be a good parent. Then chaos erupted. The enemy attacked me and challenged me to be a good parent in the midst of upheaval. Of course I failed.

But had I called on the Lord’s strength instead of my own, I could have better handled those two weeks. The battle is not only between my children and me. It’s a spiritual battle over us between good in us and evil. I am no good in a spiritual battle without God.

I felt beaten, drained and grumpy. I was in my own strength, so instead of praying to be a good parent, I needed to pray to be a praying parent. I needed to realize that each day belongs to the Lord and each battle is His.

It shouldn’t be a struggle for us to raise our children. We need to pray for them to be free of enemy influence. We need to pray to strengthen their character to empower them to deal with enemy influences on their own in our absence. We need to pray for energy and enthusiasm from God everyday. The enemy would like nothing more than for us to be tired and frustrated with our children. He wants to steal our joy, rob us of a wonderful time in our lives, and kill our enthusiasm.

God wants to fill us with peace, joy and love. He tells us to enjoy our children and He will take care of the battle. We need to turn to Him, the Father, to care for our children and do as He instructs us to do as parents.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4 NIV).

Kimberley Payne
www.kimberleypayne.com