Inspirational Thought

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 7:13 NIV

Monday, March 16, 2009

Today's Confession

I'm not a good housekeeper. I guess you could call me "domestically challenged" as you will read in this month's Today's Christian Woman.

My mother didn't train me that way. In fact, when I left home and lived with my MIL after Kevin and I were married, all I did was clean. I kept to the same regimen that my mother had always kept. Now, thirteen years later, I'm struggling to get back to that.

I look back at that time and see how busy a student I was. It was no different than how busy I am now, and yet I still ironed the shirts, washed the dishes, shoveled the walk/driveway, cooked dinner for when my parents arrived home, vacuumed and tidied.

How my housekeeping downward spiral happened is rather a long story so I won't go into all the details, but I was just getting myself back to work after having been home with Chris for a couple of years and working my schedule around Kevin's so that one of us was home with him. At one point, it became no longer possible for me to come home early. I ended up arriving home around 4:30 instead and I started the supper process. My husband was also working late shifts so we were like two ships passing in the night. I was a married single mother. So everything was left to me. And, I mean, everything.

With the stress of working and the stress in our marriage at the time, I decided it was better to spend what time I had left with Chris in the evenings (usually about an hour between the time when we finished dinner until bed time) than cleaning, washing, sweeping, and dusting. So, I just let it go.

Part of my frustration in the meantime has been my borderline obsessive compulsive tendencies clash with my husband and son's innate messiness and disorder. Our lives are surrounded by clutter that drives me bonkers!

Now, I'm struggling to pick up where I left off 10 years ago. I'm tired of living with clutter. I'm tired of being self-conscious of people coming over and what they think of our breeding dust bunnies and piles of dirty dishes, a kitchen table that can barely seat four because of the papers piled on top....I go to other mom's homes and I keep hoping to see the same type of clutter to tell me that I'm not the only one. But, I never see one. The homes I have visited are tidy, organized, and the floor, counters and desks are visible.

I have tried to let my OCD come back to try to get our house in the order I would like it. But, of course, that clashes with my polar opposite husband and son. But, things are slowly coming back. I have conquered the dishes, kitchen counter and stove. My remaining challenges are still getting laundry finished and put away in a timely fashion, sweeping and mopping (hardwood floors), and finding places for all our stuff--if we can't find a place for it, it's going to the thrift store (or it will sit in a box because my husband will say, I'll look at it later. That's Kevin-ese for it will sit there for the next three years until I ask him to look at it again.)

Anyway...If someone has ice cream out there, please have a scoop for me!

Take care.


lynda said...

you didn't visit a homeschool mom's home - we had clutter. I still do and they all have been gone a yr. I'd say insist on everyone's help. Train your child. If your dh wants some stuff and it drives you crazy find some out of the way place for it- his garage? Make an area for you to relax in. We can over do.

DOakley said...

Hi, Lynda.

Thank you for your encouragement. My son I am training. My dh is a lot harder. Because we are polar opposites, he struggles to keep up with the "precision" my personality requires.

I have tried to insist on his help, but he refuses (I don't really like this word, but it's the only one that fits) to "engage" in what I'm trying to do.

Obviously, it really only works if everyone works at it. But, it has become very obvious that I'm the only one...which is why I gave it up in the first place. I found it impossible to keep up.

I have renewed my goals, though, and have assigned myself new small jobs to do everyday to take care of the dust bunnies and such. I have come to discover that I can only count on myself. If I leave it to someone else it never gets done. Everyone is quick to say the dog needs a bath, but no one ever does anything about it.

*shake head*

As for relaxing...that's really my office, believe it or not. This is my space. It is cluttered, but it's an organized clutter. But, it is my space.

Thanks, Lynda. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.