Confessions are good for the soul. Hmm? I wonder why? I don't really want to relive the bad decisions and experiences that I have bumbled through. That is until I learned that confessing is the path to forgiveness. So here is my confession of something that I am going to have to learn to forgive in myself and my children.
I have a wonderful boy (Squire). Squire has Asperger's syndrome a form of autism. He is also a sensory seeker that means that he is the child needing strong sensory input. He head bangs, jumps off counter tops, throws himself at the walls, all sorts of odd behaviors. I normally take him and his sisters with me through all my errands. This will most likely include going to the library.
The day was long and the kids were tired. Squire loudly announced at the door of the library "I'm not going in and you can't make me!" Oh dear this is going to be a hard one I thought.
By the end of the trip his lousy attitude had infected all of us. I was upset that I had to cut the trip short. The girls were mad that their brother was getting them into trouble.Squire was just mad. So the loop went on each of us being mad at each other.
Finally as I was checking out Squire was circling the check-out counter at a run. The librarians and the patrons all looked at us with a shame on you look. I loudly told everyone,"Give him a break he's got autism!"
Was I giving him a break? No. I was too busy for autism. Squire doesn't have that luxury. My confession is I was embarassed at my son's autism. I know that is not the beautiful boy underneath. So I will strive to help Squire overcome his autistic behaviors. I will also learn to accept and love that part of him called autism.
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